Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Wednesday, 29 August 2012

image for Ron & Fred on New Technology - and Milk (Part Three) Needs a bit more milk!

"Fing was Fred, before they could pull the plug on the milkmen they ad t' wait until everyone got a fridge. There was still too many people wivout a fridge in the sixties yer see, but not by the time we entered the seventies."

"I'm glad they came 'ere though Ron, 'cause if it adn't been for them comin' 'ere I don't s'pose the likes ov me would av ever got t' taste a curry. Or yams, nice they are, I like a nice yam.......... 'Wooooooo' they'd go, them milk floats."

"Poor old milkman never stood a chance once people got the fridges. Supermarkets springin' up ev'rywhere sellin' cheap milk."

"Miners strike, rubbish on the streets, that was in the seventies."

"Not enuff income tax comin' in again. The new technolegies was biting by then Fred."

"Thatcher years. She took away the milk from the schools she did. Margaret Thatcher - Milk Snatcher is what they called 'er."

"Anyfing t' do wiv milk Fred, sure t' bring trubble when they target milk. She was after pickin' a fight wiv the poor people. Hated poor people she did."

"First the poor old milkman, then the little kids. Rotten cow!"

"North Sea oil made up for the drop in income tax. That's 'ow they managed t' keep payin' out the pensions and the dole through those years. Trubble was, by the nineties when they'd flogged off all the oil those immigrants from the sixties ad grown older mate. They aint young, fit n 'ealthy no more, they've gotten older, and they're all rubbin' their backs and demandin' they be given new 'ips on the NHS!"

"Terrible fings bad backs Ron. Can't just wave a magic wand and make a bad back go away."

"Not their fault at all Fred, but by the time we was in the nineties the bloody oils all gone, and we've now got a lot ov immigrant o.a.p's wantin' their pension as well as the British survivors from World War Two."

"And not enuff new young people payin in income tax t' pay fer it."

"Exactly. But it's even worse Fred. They've bin tellin' the kids at school t' spend all their time pressin' bloody buttons on computers all day. We aint got no bricklayers trained up, no plumbers, no tilers, fings no computers gonna be able t' do in a faahsand years. So theys finks they'd better bring in anuvver lot of foreigners, young Polish and Lithuanian lads who've been learnin' the trades in their schools our's aint bin learnin'."

"So you reckon that basically we've now got too many British youngsters knowin' 'ow t' use a computer, but not ardly any ov 'em knowin' 'ow t' bang a nail in a wall."

"Yep!"

"So what's gonna 'appen when all the younsters ov t'day get older?"

"Excess to requirements. They can't all be plumbers or tilers can they Fred. The bloody ships gettin' top 'eavy mate, and movin' the deckchairs arand aint gonna stop it from sinkin'. Wivin a few years there won't even be any need for the computer operators. The computers are gettin' more sophisticated by the day and before long the fings will be chattin away t' themselves n tellin the computer operator t' keep 'is nose out and not butt in on their private conversations!"

"But there must be sumfing that could be dun t' turn it arahnd, Ron."

"There is Fred."

"What?"

"Ban fridges!"

( - END - )

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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