Written by peter Brown
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Tags: Coffee, pants, soda

Saturday, 17 February 2007

image for Caffeinated Pants

Do you suffer from bobbing head syndrome? Do you eyelids feel like lead window shades? Does your cup of coffee give out mid-day? Ever had a day where you need that extra kick? Been waiting for something better than soda, tea or caffeinated mints?

Your wait is over! There is a new product line from Ever-Alert that might be just what you're looking for. Currently the pants are in the last stages of acceptance from the FDA.

Ever-Alert's new Caffeine Pants are a patented technology using heat sensitive caffeine pads to deliver a kick that is absorbed right into your skin. This astounding principle allows your body to get the boost it needs while you can get on with your day.

In an interview with the creator, he claimed that, "You will find Caffeine Pants to be a wonderful addition to your active life or waning attention span. With Caffeine Pants© you choose the level of stimulation you receive! Average day will deliver over 450 milligrams (about four cups of coffee) of caffeine over an eight hour period, while High Stress mode will pump out close to 1000 milligrams! In addition you can always pat the pads to give you an extra kick whenever you're feeling a little slow."

So the only question left is this one, "can this be real?" This writer can testify to the truth of it. I've never finished an interview so quickly.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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