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Monday, 6 August 2012

image for A True Diary of Woe - Part 60 - Big, Busty, Brutal, Beautiful, Belinda "She gasp for air, and roughly zipped me up..."

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947

Chapter 105:Tesco's Big, Busty, Brutal Belinda

I was on my way to Tesco, on Bath Street, Ilkeston for my first duties there.

A nice sunny morning, plodding along on my Norton, young, fit, just promoted, willing and able, and full of the joys of spring.

Parked up behind the store, went in and introduced myself, and was told to go up the stairs. through the warehouse and up the end stairs to see the manager in the staffroom.

I ran up the stairs (Ah memories!) and as I sped around the corner into the warehouse, my forehead collided with the humongous right breast (the left was humongous too) of a large girl coming in the other direction - I didn't bounce off... I rather just came to a dead stop.

Dazed, I looked up into the eyes of the female, as they gazed down at me, and her face broke into a wide sympathetic smile, she leant down and rubbed my forehead and said: "You ought to be careful, but if you don't want to be, my name's Belinda, and Summer Holiday is on at the Roxy this weekend... if you like?!

I muttered that I liked - she ruffled my (yes, I had some then) hair, and winked! And walked off down to the shopfloor.

Stunned in more than one way, I proceeded through the door marked 'Gents', and noticed in the mirror, I had a bruise coming up on my forehead.

I thought, "I've just bruised my forehead colliding with a gigantic breast?"
I should have taken note of the warning included in that thought!

I met with the manager who put me in charge of the 'Provisions section', and I set to work. Not being able to get me mind off of Belinda (name changed), her size, her willingness, or her concrete knockers!

She only worked part-time, and was not due in again until Saturday morning.

I was getting some ice for the display when she entered the store, stopping as she passed by to grab a hold of me privates and as she squeezed them, smiled, looked down at my, drew her face close to mine and boomed: "Alright for tonight midduck.." she did not wait for a reply (not that could speak due to the pain/pleasure my testicles were currently enjoying at that precise time) "I'll see yer seven-thirty artside the Regal then!..."

I managed to squeak out a "Yes, fine" through my pain and quiveringly big smile.

I was unaccountably drawn to this Amazonian like creature!

I nipped off as soon as I could on that night, bath, shave, quiffed up me Billy Fury wave, best togs on, packet of four in me pocket, on me bike, and off to the Regal, and awaited the arrival Belinda.

She stood head and shoulders above the the crowd as she approached, and the buckles on the collar of her black leather jacket twinkled in the reflection from the blue lights of a passing Ford Zephyr police car, as it pulled up at the cinema.

A gigantic police officer got out of the passenger seat (I don't know how he got in it in the first place he was so massive), and approached through the crowd and spoke to Belinda.

A few seconds later he was off, walking this time down the hill.

Belinda approached me with her usual grab of the hopefuls, a kiss on top of the head, and said: "That was me Dad, I'd left me 'Johnnies behind!"

Now this had a curious affect on me - I should have been a little weary... but still I entered the cinema with her, foolishly thinking we might be going in there to watch Cliff's Summer holiday film!

As we settled in the seats and the lights went down, so did her head... most of the film was a blur of pain, ecstasy, and a distorted sound of the Shadows 'Footapper' tune ringing in my head.

As the lights came up, so did her head, and she gasp for air, roughly zipped me up, and she asked how I managed with such a diddy appendage, adding she nearly got it caught in between her teeth, followed by a mocking laugh!

Now I've been embarrassed a few times before and since... but...

More Episodes of Woe to follow (I hope!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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