Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Wednesday, 20 June 2012

In a story that Tampa, Florida police are attempting to keep quiet, an eighty year old naked lady was Tasered by a local constable late yesterday. According to media reports, the deputy stopped the woman in a "stop & frisk" operation. No one could explain, why? The media respecting the woman's privacy is withholding her name.

Reporters were allowed to question the arresting officer after he was cleared of all charges. The following interview appeared on local TV stations this evening.

Reporter: "Why did you stop to frisk this old lady when she was totally naked and obviously had a mental condition?"

Officer: "I thought she was carrying drugs."

Reporter: Where"

Officer: "They have their ways. You'd be surprised. Besides, they always get away!"

Reporter: "But," he paused, "She was naked!"

Officer:" You apparently don't know these
people like I do!"

Reporter: "What do you mean these people?"

Officer: "Never mind!"

Reporter: "Why did you Taser her? She's an old lady?"

Officer: "She was attacking me with a dangerous weapon!"

Reporter: "What!"

Officer: "A cane."

Reporter: "A cane?"

Officer: "Yes, She had a cane. I thought it might be one of them canes that has a sword in it. I was afraid for my life!"

Reporter: "There haven't been canes like that since World War One!"

Officer: "Yea, she looked pretty old!"

When local media were allowed to interview the woman at the hospital where officers had taken her, they asked her what she had thought when she was tasered in the back and rendered helpless.

Lady: "I thought he was trying to, you know, rape me! I was terrified! He could see there wasn't much to rob, you know, except my dignity!"

Reporter: "Will you bring charges against him?"

LDY: "Nope. Just going to take my other cane next time I go for a stroll!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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