Written by CaptainSausage
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 7 June 2012

image for Dorking man's South Pole bid Springer practised pogoing during last year's inch of snow in Dorking

Norman Springer of Dorking, is planning to become the first man to reach the South Pole on a pogo stick. He announced his intent at a press conference this morning, in which he spent the whole time pogoing.

Springer, aged 37, has previously been the first man to travel on a pogo stick from his house in south Dorking to Dorking Deepdene train station. This is a feat he will have to repeat if he is to make it to the South Pole.

He explained his planned route. "I'll pogo down my driveway, then the short distance to Reigate Road. I will cross at the traffic lights by Deepdene Avenue and then make my way to Dorking Deepdene station. I shall then purchase my ticket and make my way over the bridge to platform 2 for trains to London."

He said that he intended to keep pogoing on the train all the way to London, and from there it would be "a short flight and boat ride" to Antarctica.

When asked if he was worried about the dangers of frostbite, Mr Springer said that his aunt had knitted him a pair of mittens made of hair from her cat. He also said that hunger should not be an issue, as he was planning on packing three cheese and corned beef sandwiches and a Scotch egg.

Finally, he said that he looked forward to a warm welcome on his return home "just like a modern day Captain Scott".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top ^