Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 19 April 2012

POLITICAL FACEBOOK

Rick Santorum: Hey Newt are you there?
9:01 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: Yeah Rick. I just finished having a piece of toast with some expensive butter that I have imported from Holland once a week.
9:04 a.m.

Rick Santorum: Wow! I betcha it's good.
9:07 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: Rick, it is so darn good, I actually hate to eat it.
9:11 a.m.

Rick Santorum: Say Newt I just want to tell you that I just cannot see myself voting for Mitt Romney. I mean, I know he is a Republican and all, but I just don't like the man. I don't trust him. He has those sneaky eyes and that lisp which tells me that he is trying to hide something.
9:15 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: I feel the same way but we have no choice.
9:19 a.m.

Rick Santorum: Well, I don't think I can vote for "Old Mittens." I really feel that I will end up voting for President Obama.
9:24 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: What?
9:25 a.m.

Rich Santorum: Well Figster, it's either him or I will be writing in the name Sponge Bob Square Pants.
9:29 a.m.

Ron Paul: Howdy amigos. How are you two little crybabies doing this morning?
9:38 a.m.

Ron Paul: Come on little fellas. Where the hell did y'all go all of a sudden huh?
9:42 a.m.

Sarah Palin: Ronnie, they're both hiding like the little gophers that they are, that's where they went.
9:46 a.m.

Ron Paul: Oh hi Miss Sarah. And how are you doing this wonderful morning.
9:51 a.m.

Sarah Palin: I'm doing good Ronnie. And I'm just about packed and ready to head on down to the Lower 48, and start raising a ruckus like the GOP ain't never seen before.
9:57 a.m.

Rick Santorum: Say Palin. Do us all a favor and stay up in Alaska where you belong.
10:03 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: Yeah "Snowflake" don't think that you're gonna come down here and shoot moose on the weekends.
10:09 a.m.

Sarah Palin: Listen here you two city slickers. I'll go down there and I'll shoot all the friggin moose I want and no one is gonna stop me!
10:13 a.m.

President Obama: Wrong again reindeer hormones. I have already instructed the Secret Service, ah make that the FBI, not to let you set foot anywhere in the Lower 48.
10:17 a.m.

Ron Paul: O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA!
10:23 a.m.

President Obama: I appreciate that Mr. Paul. And just like I told you when I spoke with you on the phone last Tuesday. When I am re-elected to a second term, I will be appointing you to be the new executive director of AARP.
10:27.a.m.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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