Written by Wire Piddle
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 16 April 2012

image for Researchers Find Shorter Titles And Sentences In Articles Are More Likely To Be Read Than If One Tries To Put Too Much Before Readers All At Once, 9 Times Out Of 10 People....thinking.

Cambridge, U.K. - Researchers at Cambridge University have found that, when constructing titles for online publications, doesn't matter what type or genre they are, just online ones, nothing specific, are more likely to be read by the vast majority of people, i.e. the audience, readers, those lumps of organic material staring blindly into cyberspace , hoping to be awaken by some thunderbolt of intellectual prowess, anyway, have found that titles should be fairly short for articles, and, as a bonus, people are expecting ideas in the article to be presented in a concise and tight matter, with respect to how long the sentences are and how the paragraphs convey those sentences, as in short, short, short, not a lot of run on phrases connected by commas with things sort of floating in and out like waste product in a huge aquarium full of tiny fish; fish you don't eat but sort of look at once in awhile through the aquarium glass, so that they're merely there as eye candy, like something to watch, to follow...that moves...as opposed to something like a painting or a flower in a vase, which doesn't move.

Anyway, these researchers, as I was mentioning, they've concluded, and I'll be more circumspect, they've arrived at the conclusion that a) Titles should be short, and b) Sentences within the article should be short too!

Isn't that grand? Thought you'd like it. Buh-bye. ;)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

Share/Bookmark

Go to top ^