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Sunday, 15 April 2012

image for My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 15th April 2012 - Two Friday 13th: Liquorice root

Monday 9th April 2012
* Up at 0300hrs - To the WC, cup of tea, pain killers, to the WC, on the Spoof, up to the WC, spill tea over me knees... luckily it was no longer hot, to the WC... usual morning up to now (0505hrs).

Tuesday 10th April 2012
* Up and on the web at 0020hrs this morning. Determined to keep any senior moments to a minimum!

Wednesday 11th April 2012
* Went over too see Stewart, told him I was going to go to Bulwell to get some cheap strong tea bags and a hard surface spray from the pound shop. He advised I walked to Nottingham Road and caught number 17 bus as the best way to get there. I thanked him, and set off, catching the number 17 bus where he said to. (Well I thought I did) After an hour of sitting tight as the bus went all around the different estates, i finally arrived at Bulwell. On algithing the vehicle, i noticed it was a number 71, not a 17. Still, at least I got to the right place. The shop had sold out of both products I'd gone for, and were not going to stock them anymore.

Thursday 12th April 2012
* Up at 0300hrs - WC, cuppa tea, and on the spoof you see.
* Published me Senior Moments instead of one of me diaries this morning, hence this version 2.
* No rain today, so decided to walk into Bulwell, t try and get some more of the cheap ready meals from Heron's. Took it steady, but me knees played up again, and it was a bit painful by the time I arrived in the Bulwell market place, took me about hour and a half, but I need the exercise.
* Heron's had sold out of the cheap meals.
* Got home, had some nosh and collapsed in the chair.

Friday 13th April 2012
* Finding it hard to concentrate today.
* Tesco and Bigga Pizzas gave me some mail today.
* Went over to see Stewart, not in.
* Went to local Lidl to get some stuff.
* Walked to Bulwell again for walk.
* In Bulwell market, two policemen asked me what I was chewing on - I told them it was a liquorice root? Does liquorice root look like some drug? (Similar to photo at top of page)
* I got the bus back home, making sure it was the right number this time.
*Realised either I'd left the bread at Lidle's, or it had magically disintegrated and disappeared while I was out. Bother!
* 120hrs, postman delivered lovely letter from lifelinescreening,co,uk - "What would you doctor say if he or she could see inside your arteries?"
"While check-ups with doctors are valuable, our ultrasound screening is a superior and mire accurate approach!"
"Stroke/Carotid Screening only £60"
"Heart Rhythm Screening only £60"
"Abdominal Aortic Screening only £60"
"Peripheral Arterial Screening only £60"
" All four screenings only £139"
"Osteoporosis Risk Assessment only £60 - £10 when you have the full four other screenings!"
"Only 61 places left in your area, advance booking required. Call 0800 107 7731 to reserve your place!"
Mmm!
* Another pan of stew joined the the others on its way to to the council tip. If they save um all, they could be used as cheap ammunition if the Argies kick off again?

Saturday 14th April 2012
* Up at 0145hrs, cuppa tea, WC, and stubbed me toe of the stairs.
* Went over the road to see Margaret and Stew, both doing okay, then walked half way to Bulwell then caught the tram. Got me Marmite flavoured cashew nuts from cheap shop, walked to the bus station, then back to the cheap shop to collect me carrier bag I'd left behind, then back to the bus station.
* Got home, and turned the oven off.
* Chest pains bad again.

Sunday 15th April 2012
* Up around 0400hrs, chest bothersome, and knees creaking painfully. Had cuppa, medications, and visited the WC several times.
* Finished of News items and weekly mag for the Spoof and sent it off.
* Again I put orange juice in me tea instead of milk, made another cuppa and moved the orange and milk cartons to opposite sides of the fridge! (Mind you I did that last time)
* Opened the curtains, and one fell off, came away from the stitching bit that holds the hooks on... well, used to.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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