Written by Ellie James
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Tags: Writing

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

image for Artificial Intelligent Intellectual Pen 3000 - an advertisement My writer's notebook before I started using the AI 3000

Can't write? Can't muster up that urge of literary brilliance that adorns the page like a symphony of unwritten prose just waiting for ink to touch parchment.

Just write and go. The new Artificial Intelligent Intellectual Pen 3000 now with new improved Creative AI (tm). For all those moments when your feeble human brain says, "Fuck you higher functions! I ain't playing ball. I want to destroy something not build. While you were sleeping I took your bone bag for a walk and fucked your gate up!"

You owe it to yourself. Just six easy monthly installments of $29.95 and you're back on track. Or, in the UK, 6 installments of £25.

But don't take our word for it. Here's testimony from some satisfied customers:

"AI-mazing...The AI Pen just oozed page to page prose when I simply couldn't be bothered. It even created a better ending to my last book and is setting my new novel in somewhere other than Maine..."
S King

"Smoldering...I used the Mark2 AI pen to write the entire Twilight series after JK told me about it. Without it I just couldn't have came with any more clichés or reductive characterization. I can't wait to try the 3000 model!"
Stephanie Meyer


The AI 3000. Writing "the shit." Even when your shit ain't moving.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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