Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 10 April 2012

POLITICAL FACEBOOK

Newt Gingrich: Hi Rick. Well old pal it looks like I'm done. I don't have a snowballs chance in hell of beating "Old Mittens."
10:01 a.m.

Rick Santorum: I hear you Newton. I am feeling the same way. I don't think I've been this disappointed since back in high school when I asked the head cheerleader, Sadie Sue Von Buttermilk to the prom and she told me that she wanted to wait and see if she got a better offer.
10:04 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: Dammit! Ricky the same exact thing happened to me, except that in my case instead of the head cheerleader it was the first chair trombonist in the band.
10:07 a.m.

Rick Santorum: Really? What was her name?
10:11 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: Lionel Butterdrum.
10:13 a.m.

Rick Santorum: Lionel Butterdrum?
10:16 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: Gotcha Ricky. I'm just pulling your leg dude. Her name was actually Draconia Daisy Wankendorf.
10:19 a.m.

Ron Paul: Hi guys. Well it don't look too good for the home team does it?
10:23 a.m.

Rick Santorum: Nope.
10:28 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: You can say that again.
10:30 a.m.

Rick Santorum: Nope.
10:32 a.m.

Ron Paul: Well I'm glad to see you two little fellers haven't lost your sense of humor. Me? I'm happy. In fact I'm as happy as a woodpecker in a Popsicle stick factory.
10:36 a.m.

Mitt Romney: Well, well, well. It looks like you three guys have finally realized that I'm gonna be the GOP presidential choice huh?
10:39 a.m.

Rick Santorum: Yeah.
10:42 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: I hate to say Mitty but yes.
10:45 a.m.

Ron Paul: Well I ain't gonna give up. I gonna be a thorn in your side Mr. Flip Flopper.
10:47 a.m.

Mitt Romney: You're funny little Ron. And let me say that you do not scare me one darn bit.
10:51 a.m.

Sarah Palin: BOO! Hiya Mitt, gosh darnit. Guess which good looking gal from Alaska is getting her lovely self ready to jump into the 2012 GOP presidential race with both her pretty feet?
10:54 a.m.

President Barack Obama: Hallelujah! Bless ya Miss Sarah. Bless ya!
10:59 a.m.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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