KALIMAZOO, MICHIGAN (ABSNN)-- Mitt Romney was heckled by an audience in this Michigan town. He tried jokes; he tried serious poetry readings; he tried shaking hands, but nothing seem to please them. So he asked them what they wanted to hear from him. They heckled him even more until he finally shouted to them to "Chill (the hell) out!"
The audience sat dumbstruck. It is my humble opinion that being dumbstruck is native trait of Michiganerigans, but this is besides the point.
"That's better," said Romney with a big grin. "Now, I can read my prepared speech that attacks the Democrats and President Obama, or I can tell you a story about when I lived in Michigan as a boy with my father."
The audience said nothing. Romney began to sweat profusely. Again, he tried jokes, poetry, and even attempted to lead the audience in campfire songs. They didn't seem to know what to do. The meeting gave out soon and Romney declared it a "coup."
I interviewed several of the audioence in the hallway outside the Ramada Inn where the meeting took place. They were unamimous is sentiment.
"I thought we were there to test laundry detergent, then this guy came up and said he was running a Presidential campaign," said Maudie Frick.
"That's right," said another. "We don't care one whit about politics; we just wanted to get out of the house, wash some clothes for free, and see some new stuff. I know all I need to know about Romney."
"I came to test Tide, I would not have come out even if I'd known the President would be here," said Edgar Elliot Pound.
"He should not have started reading poetry. Michigan hates poetry," said Pound.
If you think I have lost the thread of the story, well, I have. But what message does Romney have?
"DamnifIknow," said Pound.