Written by d howdy
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Wednesday, 7 February 2007

Celebrity Big Brother winner Shilpa Shetty met with The Spoof 'writer' D Howdy for an interview exclusive.

D - Good morning, Miss Shetty.

S - Good morning.

D - You don't remember me, do you?

S - I'm sorry. Have we met before?

D - I tried to interview you before. After you'd just seen Dirty Dancing.

S - (Furrowing eyebrows and staring at me intently) Oh yes. I remember. How are you?

D - You stuck your middle finger up at me in an obscene manner.

S - I did? I don't remember.

D - Are you calling me a liar?

S - No...It's just that...

D - A crap writer I may be, but I am not a liar.

S - Are we going to do this interview or not?

D - (Jumping to feet ni an intimidating fashion) Shut your mouth, Shetty. I'm asking the questions around here. Understand?

S - I understand.

D - That's more like it.

Awkward silence.

S - Well?

D - Well what?

S - Aren't you going to ask me any questions?

D - I'm not really interested in anything you have to say, Shetty.

S - Then why are you interviewing me?

D - I have realised that the mere mention of your name in a headline is enough to boost my points system and thus help rocket me to that number one spot currently held by Willis Rodney or someone like that.

S - So you have no intention of asking me any questions?

D - (Offering a pack of biscuits) Would you like a chocolate Hob-nob?

Shilpa Shetty stands and makes for the door slamming it shut.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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