Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 23 March 2012

Ever since Mitt Romney spokesperson Eric "The Red" Fehrnstrom made his Etch A Sketch remark at a political campaign rally at a Pizza Gal Restaurant parking lot in Missoula, Montana, the name of the toy has been used more times than the words "Where's the clicker?"

The following list was compiled by the verbiage gathering agency known as Did You Hear That, Inc. which is based in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

THE TOP TEN POLITICAL ETCH A SKETCH SAYINGS OF THE MONTH

1. Rick Santorum - Personally, I have nothing against Mitt "The Etch A Sketch Sultan" Romney other than the fact that he reminds me of a used car salesman, his hair looks much too perfect, and he has been known to wear Sponge Bob Square Pants socks from time to to time.

2. Newt Gingrich - I had an Etch A Sketch back when I was in high school. I ended up giving it to one of my many high school girlfriends - I think it was either Fay Morganfeister or Vivian Bickenpacker. Or maybe that cute little exchange student from Bolivia, Carioca Alhambra.

3. Mitt Romney - I never owned an Etch A Sketch when I was growing up. I was too busy thinking up ways to start up all kinds of companies.

4. Ron Paul - Just exactly what the hell is an Etch A Sketch?

5. Rush Limbaugh - That Sandra Fluke woman is now saying that she wants the Federal Government to buy her an Etch A Sketch.

6. Bill Maher - What is it with all of this Etch A Sketch talk by the GOPers? I mean people what's next never-ending conversations about the Slinky, Mr. Potato Head, or perhaps Gummy Bears.

7. Vice-President Joe Biden - I had an Etch A Sketch when I was six-years-old. My mama told me that the first week that I had it I drew perfect likenesses of Mt. Rushmore, the Erie Canal, and Abraham Lincoln's pet sheep "Wooly Girl."

8. Ann Coulter - I received an Etch A Sketch for my 23rd birthday. I never opened it. It is still in the box somewhere up in my grandmother Terracotta Coulter's attic.

9. Glenn Beck - Santa Claus brought me an Etch A Sketch when I was twelve. My Uncle Englebright "Sudsy" Baumgartello took it to the pawn shop and [sniffle -sniffle] hawked it for beer money [sniffle-sniffle).

10. Ron Paul - No really. What the hell is an Etch A Sketch?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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