Written by BluntScissors
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Sunday, 4 February 2007

The Scientology 'religion' was founded in the 1940s by L. Ron. Hubbard, the sci-fi novelist, who famously said "There's a lot of money in religion, I should start my own."

The religion quickly grew in the money-rich USA, thanks to its scheme of only allowing people to advance once they had paid a certain amount of money. In the 'science' book behind the religion, Dianetics, the author begins by stating obvious facts, before deviating into imaginary nonsense about happiness and 'Clears' without even attempting to back up this with solid evidence. The whole agenda is geared towards rich, gullible people, which is perfect for people such as Tom Cruise and John Travolta who have more money than sense.

If you too have more money than sense, and you'd like to be very high up in a corrupt money-worshipping so-called religion, then you should become a Scientologist.

Scientologists believe that all humans contain alien souls, which were dropped off in a volcano millions of years ago after an intergalactic war. Mmm, sounds a bit like a sci-fi novel, well that is to be expected of a sci-fi novelist with a good imagination.

Basically, if anyone asks you to join Scientology, just say no. It's a waste of money, because let's be honest, paying a fantasy divine being is not going to make you any happier, and is there anyone more retarded than Tom Cruise!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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