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Monday, 5 March 2012

image for A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Two - The Easter Parade The real reason for my failure to march in the Easter Parade!

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947

Chapter 95 - The Nottingham 9th Company Boys Brigade Band's Easter Parade

I had been invited to play the drums on the Nottingham 9th Company Boys Brigade Band's Easter Parade around the Meadows area of Nottingham, and really wanted to take part.

Unfortunately, some weeks earlier, I had been brave and foolish enough to ask Dad for some money to buy a new chopper (axe) because the old one was getting beyond repair, and I needed one for chopping the wood for the fire.

What did he do? - he got me extra morning and weekend delivery rounds at the paper shop, and a Saturday job at the local hardware shop Heason's, so I could buy a chopper myself!

It cost 3/6d (17½p)

I cunningly started to plan how I could get out of the Saturday job, and the morning shift of paper delivering, to enable my attendance on the Parade... this was going to be hard and expensive!

I had to back-hand a mate 2/6d (12½p) to do the paper round, and it took me ages and 10/- (50p) to bride a neighbour to cover for my shift at Heason's.

I told Dad I'd twisted me ankle so could not go to do the jobs.

I hid my uniform in some carrier bags, and set off for the Chapel where the band congregated before any march or parade, remembering to 'limp' on the way, in case any of Dad's mates were watching.

Cunning stuff eh!

But unfortunately again, as I was pretending to limp, I tripped off the pavement and got hit by the passing Co-op milkman's electric float!

So no drum beating, marching in the parade for me, and when Dad realised I had not hurt me ankle, when I got back from the hospital with me head and knee bandaged, his belt came off, and a correctional lash or two were distributed to the back of my legs amongst other areas!

The Easter Parade/March, was a great success without me!

More Episodes of Woe to follow

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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