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Friday, 2 March 2012

image for 20 questions about Senior Citizens answered by a Senior Citizen! Question 14

1)
Q: Where can guys over 65 find youthful, pretty women who are interested in dating them?

A: I look in the library under Romantic Fiction.

2)
Q: How can a man cope during his wife's menopause?

A: Blowed if I can remember!

3)
Q: How can a woman raise the heart rate of her 65+ year old spouse?

A: She should tell him she's with child.

4)
Q: What can an older woman do for the wrinkles on her neck?

A: Don't wear a brassiere. The additional hanging "weights" will take out the wrinkles.

5)
Q: How can older people remember where they parked their cars?

A: Use the Valet service. They have to remember where your car is.

6)
Q: Do Senior Citizens have problems storing their short term memories?

A: No, they have problems retrieving the memories from storage.

7)
Q: Do Senior Citizens have deeper sleep?

A: They do, but normally their deep sleep happens in the afternoons!

8)
Q: Where can older people find prescription eye glasses?

A: On top of their heads.

9)
Q: What is the most often used sentence uttered by Senior Citizens when they visit antique shops?

A: 'Oh, I have one of these at home!'

10)
Q: What is the most common thing that Senior Citizens lose trust in?

A: The human race, and farts!

11)
Q: What do Senior Citizens think of the Prime Minister?

A: This will vary, depending on if you mean Harold Wilson or Ted Heath!

12)
Q: Do Senior Citizens like modern music?

A: Well, from Nat King Cole up to Elvis and the Beatles yes.

13)
Q: What would Senior Citizens be most likely to give children at Christmas?

A: Arsenic, mouthwash, or a gag.

14)
Q: What foods do Senior Citizens miss most?

A: Beef dripping sandwiches, tripe, dried egg and pigs trotters!

14)
Q: Why do Senior Citizens take so long to get on a bus?

A: They need time to make sure of what day it is, the number of the bus, are they wearing their slippers or shoes, and why they were getting on the bus in the first place!

15)
Q: What would Senior Citizens most like children to give them for Christmas?

A: Peace and quiet!

16)
Q: Do Senior Citizens still believe in Santa Claus?

A: Well some still believe in David Cameron!

17)
Q: Do Senior Citizens still bath/shower as often as they used to?

A: Bath.. shower?

18)
Q: Do Senior Citizens still watch Crime series on TV?

A: Not since Dixon of Dock Green and Z Cars, no!

19)
Q: Where do Senior Citizens visit most often?

A: The toilet, the Doctors, the Hospital, and Health Centre!

20)
Q: Who visits Senior Citizens the most often?

A: Care workers, Ambulance Crews, Debt collectors, and burglars!

Of course, these answers only apply to myself, but should give some guidance to the ankle-biters.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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