Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 10 December 2011

image for The List of Ten Christmas Movies You May Want To Skip The mall scene from the movie, 'The Pitchy As Hell Christmas Carolers.'

The Christmas gift company Christmas Bells & Whistles has just mailed out its yearly catalog which contains over 16,000 Christmas gifts, including 97, which are brand new for the 2011 holiday season.

The catalog contains over 700 pages and lists everything from armadillo shaped Christmas cookie cutters to green and red stripped zebra pajamas.

One of last years biggest sellers was the Ho Ho Ho Set of 12 Decorative Condoms, which quickly became one of the biggest collector's items in the history of not only Christmas but of all holidays.

This year one of the most popular selling items is the Christmas Grinch Mask which is patterned after Gary Busey.

Two of the least popular Christmas gifts are The Sarah Palin Shoots The Christmas Reindeer Video Game which reportedly has only sold four copies; two were purchased by Sarah Palin, one by Ricky Gervais, and one by Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio of Arizona.

The other least popular Christmas gift is a bobblehead doll of Nicki Minaj shown wearing an elves outfit with her humongous butt sticking way out.

The catalog also includes a list of ten of the most unpopular Christmas movies ever made.

The List of Ten Christmas Movies You May Want To Skip

  1. The Three Stooges Gang Tickle Mrs. Santa Claus
  2. The Grinch Who Stole Grandma's Girdle
  3. The Pitchy As Hell Christmas Carolers
  4. Charlie Brown Explains Exactly Why He Stuck The Mistletoe In His Frosty The Snowman Underwear
  5. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer Gets Neutered
  6. Elmo and The Rest of The Muppets Show Mrs. Claus Their Cute Little Cloth Christmas Balls
  7. The Attack of The Gingerbread Bitches From Hell
  8. The Damn Dart Blowgun Carrying Cannibals Who Stole Tarzan and Jane's Christmas Presents
  9. The Ho Ho Ho's of Harlem
  10. Santa Claus Vs. The Voluptuous Vixen Vampires of Virginia

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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