Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 7 December 2011

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Little Miss Muffet Kids Magazine has just announced their list for 2011's Ten Least Popular Christmas Children's Books. The list was compiled by the magazine's Senior Executive Assistant Publisher Jefferson Dante Quickowitz.

Mr. Quickowitz personally read over 800 children's Christmas books plus he texted, emailed, and called up 27 other top executives whose companies sell children's Christmas books and got some feedback and info from them as well.

According to the national publication Who's Who of Publishing Executives, Mr. Quickowitz is a member of the National Federation of Publishers, the American Coalition of Publishers, and the Brooklyn Bureau of Gifted Book Readers.

He has served on The Presidents Council of Christmas Books For The Happy-Go-Lucky Kids of America and personally knows a little over 400 knock knock jokes.

The List of The Ten Least Popular Christmas Children's Books For 2011

  1. The Truth About The Sexual Orientation of Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer
  2. Baking Anatomically Correct Gingerbread Men Is A Good Way to Get Grandma and Grandpa All Bent Out Of Shape
  3. Yes, The Christmas Elves Are Fairies - But We Can't Really Say That Out Loud
  4. Why The Christmas Phrases Christmas Balls, Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire, and Ho! Ho! Ho! Have Been Banned In Iowa
  5. Herman Cain Is Positively, Absolutely, and Without Question On Santa's Naughty List
  6. The Illustrated Book On Heidi Montag's Plastic Ornaments
  7. The Kids Definitive Guide To Adult Christmas Cheer Beverages
  8. Monica Lewinsky's Never-Before-Seen Personal Photos Of Her Memorable White House Oval Office Christmas
  9. The Reasons Why Penn State University Has Banned The Annual Children's Christmas Hide and Seek Festival
  10. Ho! Ho! Ho! Christmas Time In Harlem

[PUBLISHER'S NOTE: Actually the book by Monica Lewinsky contains a photo that somehow got by the Federal censors and is unsuitable for viewing by even most adults. -JEFFERSON DANTE QUICKOWITZ].

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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