Written by Joe Hype
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Saturday, 12 November 2011

Howdy! I'm Rick Perry, and I'm running for somethin' in Norway. Wait...that ain't quite right. I'm a dang ol' Texas boy, and I made these Gucci loafers...I mean, snake skin boots with a bear I caught with my own three hands. Confused? Me too.

You see, after I went and started forgettin' stuff at the last debate, ma' campaign advisers decided it might temporarily boost my poll numbers if I start forgettin' stuff more often. From now on, I plan to forget a ding-dang pile of stuff to anyone who will listen, like them fellers on the late night radio, David Letternumber, and Jay Pruno. But I can get up before the crack o' dawn and do the morning shows too, cause that what we do here in Ohio...I mean, BIG OL' TEXAS. We get up nice and late so we can have an early lunch before the kids go to work or whatever. You see, I went and forgot again. Ain't that just so electable. Seriously.

Now, you might think it was a case of the nerves that made me forget that I wanted to abolish the Department of Energy and some other stuff, but heck, I've gone a step further and plum forgot what Energy is. I think it's that thing they put in toothpaste. I might get rid of some of them other departments as well, but I can't remember what they are. When I do remember, they're as good as gone, but for now, I forget stuff and remind people of it because we decided at a brain storming session that it's a solid strategy for the next week as it seems to be artificially inflating my poll numbers...I mean screw letters. Sorry, I forgot that I was supposed to be forgettin' stuff. Ain't that the dangest thing?

Anyway, I'm David, and...HEY! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH 'MA POPCORN?"

What? Is that too over the top guys?....You want me to reign it in? Yeah, that's just making me sound crazy.

Howdy again. It's me, and I'm fairly certain I'm Rick Perry. I know my fellow Canadians don't like how they've started to get all cheap with the sprinkles at Baskin and Robbins, so if I remember, the Department of Ice Cream Toppings is GONE.

Now, I know in these uncertain times, it's hard to know just what to remember, but if you remember anything, forget this: I'm Rick Perry, and I'm going to be forgettin' stuff for a yet to be determined amount if time, and I will continue to fight for your rights until I am Prime Minister.

(This message would have been approved by The Committee to Elect Rick Perry but they forgot as well.)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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