Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 5 September 2011

image for Heather Locklear's "Non-Marriage" Is Already On The Rocks!
Heather Locklear wants it known that she is the boss in her and her fiancé's relationship.

HOLLYWOOD - Heather Locklear and her fiancé Jack Wagner's engagement is reportedly already on the rocks.

According to Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors, the couple is having problems over the fact that Heather wants to vacation down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and Jack would rather vacation over in St. Barts in the West Indies.

Miss Vermicelli has noted that neither party is willing to budge and the way it looks the two could possibly end up calling off their wedding which was to have taken place at The Hotel Cuernos del Toro (Hotel Horns of The Bull) in Sesimbra, Portugal .

Jack, 51, has said that he prefers to go to St. Barts because it is located far from the celluloid celebrity world of Hollywood.

He said that he does not want to stay at the same hotel as losers like Sean Penn, Charlie Sheen, and Envuelto Jalisco.

Jalisco is considered to be one of Nicaragua's most popular hip hop singers but the 17-year-old has a spoiled brat attitude worse than Danny Bonaduce's.

Heather who is 49, and still looks fabulously sensuous in every body part department, has made it known that since she is the more widely known between her and Jack that they should go wherever she decides that they should go period.

Locklear was quick to point out to Vermicelli that she has starred on many TV series including T.J. Hooker, Dynasty, Melrose Place, Spin City, and The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania (as a guest star in three episodes).

She said that many in Hollywood refer to her as "The TV Queen." She took a sip from her Pomegranate Margarita and said that she has already put up with enough bullshit from the likes of Tommy "Little Boy" Lee and Richie "Little Guido" Sambora.

A close friend of Locklear's has said that there is a rumor going around the hills of Hollywood that Heather has received several explicit text messages from Marc Anthony, Jennifer Lopez' soon-to-be ex-husband.

Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that Mariah Carey 41, allegedly caught her husband 'America's Got Talent' Host Nick "The Pogo Stick" Cannon, 30, casually touching AGT finalist Lys Agnes' tata's during a rehearsal break.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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