Written by IainB
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Friday, 26 August 2011

image for Edward from Jedward to become a woman
It is expected that Edward's clothes sense will not improve

In a conversation inside the Big Brother house on Channel 5, Edward, from Jedward, has candidly admitted to the other house-mates that he wants to have a sex change. This was news to his brother.

"Jedward are going to Thailand," said Edward, after a task involving hooking ducks out of a barrel. "We always thought we could make it big there. While we're there, though, I'm going for the op."

And by the op, Edward doesn't mean having his tonsils removed. Although music lovers everywhere would enjoy that particular operation, and would possibly volunteer to perform the procedure.

"I was born into the wrong body," he admitted. "I should have been a girl called Brenda."

After the operation, Jedward will be renamed Jenda.

According to the twins mother, Edward had confided in her about his desire to become her daughter, rather than her hugely effeminate son.

"He's always wanted to be a girl," she said. "Ever since I glued false breasts on him when he was three so he would win Miss Butlins."

John has no such desires, but fully supports his brother.

"I will stand with you," John said, publicly hugging his soon to be sister.

Edward had taken a range of his usual clothing into the house, but has made a request via the diary chair that his clothes are replaced so that he can live full time as a woman.

"Ordinarily," said Hugh Frere, program co-ordinate, "we wouldn't allow for additional items to be taken into the house. What you take with you is what you have with you. However, we think having Edward prancing around dressed as a drag queen is going to be hilarious television, so we're going to allow it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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