Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 17 August 2011

image for America's Got Talent Judge Piers Morgan Is Fast Becoming The Most Hated Man In America
A photo of the red buzzer on America's Got Talent that Piers Morgan seems to be hitting more and more often.

HOLLYWOOD - Piers Morgan is burning the candle at both ends as he hosts his nightly talk show Piers Morgan Tonight as well as appearing twice weekly as a judge on America's Got Talent.

And the arrogant Englishman is fast becoming one of the most hated males in the entire United States. At the moment he still trails Bernie Madoff, Gilbert Gottfried, LeBron James, Billy Bob Thornton, and Glenn Beck but not by much.

Fellow AGT Judge Howie Mandel has said that something is definitely wrong with Morgan because lately he seems to be buzzing just about every contestant that appears on the show.

Last week he buzzed a sweet little eight-year-old gymnast contortionist and this week he buzzed a group of cartoon-like characters known as Those Funny Little People.

Sharon Osbourne says that she thinks that Piers may be going through the male change-of-life. She giggled and said that she remembers when her husband Ozzy went through male menopause and how crazy and wacky he got.

She giggled as she said that she remembers coming home from shopping one afternoon and finding Ozzy in the living room floor in his boxer shorts playing checkers with the maid who was only wearing a bra and panties.

When she asked him what the hell was going on he replied, "Ahhhh Shhhharrron mmmmme and Mannnnndy isssss playinnnn a gaaammmmme of sttttrip chhhhheckers."

Howie Mandel said that the other day she overheard Piers in his dressing room and he was actually arguing with himself.

Mandel said that it was about the fact that one of his scheduled Piers Morgan Tonight guests fellow Britisher and Dancing With The Stars Judge Len Goodman had cancelled an appearance on his show due to having an upset stomach which Goodman said he got from eating a stale blueberry crumpet.

In the latest edition of America's Got Talent which was the Wild Car Acts Show Morgan buzzed one of the evening's favorite performers a blue grass band from Georgia named The Fiddleheads.

The audience and the other two judges liked them but Morgan did not. He said that they sounded a little bit to blue grassy. The audience began to boo. Morgan tried to talk and the crowd booed louder.

He told them to quite down and that only served to make them boo even louder. Some even began throwing popcorn, hot dog buns, and Raisinettes at the dandy. Morgan did not get to speak and the shows host Nick "The Lollipop Stick" Cannon went on to Sharon.

One contestant, a comedian named J. Chris Newberg turned the tables on Piers and did a simulated roast. He said that Morgan looked like Michele Bachmann except with a little less hairspray, more feminine looking hips, and a lot more make up.

Newberg then told Morgan that Sharon had told him before the show to ask him about his missing belly button, his inverted nipples, and his undescended pecker.

Newberg laughed and said that he told Sharon that he would rather not so he wasn't going to. The audience erupted in laughter as Morgan's face turned as red as a Shreveport strawberry.

To view pictures of Piers Morgan when he was a baby living in Guildford, Surrey, England go to www.piersmorganuglyassbaby.wah

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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