Written by David St.John
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Monday, 15 August 2011

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A Car Yesterday

The international hit BBC motoring and lads TV favourite 'Top Gear' has come under attack for fakery.

According to BBC insiders, host Jeremy Clarkson (51) is a vegan, drives a Prius and is a member of 'Friends of the Earth'.

"Jeremy hates his public image," said our spy "but the top brass at the Beeb insists he portrays this image of an un-PC, sexist, petrol head whereas he is really a deeply sensitive individual who is deeply concerned about global warming."

It appears that almost 205 percent of the driving shots involving Clarkson have to be reshot by directors after he has gone home as he refuses to drive in a way which uses too much petrol and will only drive a maximum of 50 mph on the motorway meaning a lot of the famous Top Gear challenges have to be faked.

Also it appears the show uses a trickery for fellow presenters Richard Hammond and James May, our snitch said "Hammond stands at a whopping 6 foot 4 inches and is by far the tallest presenter but to stay in keeping with his nickname 'The Hamster' BBC technical bods have to film everything to make him look a lot shorter, much in the same way they did with 'Lord of the Rings'," it also appears that James May is the real speed freak of the show and he does much of the 'Dangerous' and 'Fast' driving for Clarkson.

Apparently Clarkson is furious with these accusations a BBC spokesperson stated, "Jeremy is deeply upset that anyone should accuse him of caring about the environment, or being a careful driver and Richard (Hammond) really is a hobbit."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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