Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: jennifer lopez

Sunday, 14 August 2011

image for Jennifer Lopez Is Strutting Her Stuff As She Puts Out The 'Welcome Mat'
J.Lo's Ferrari with her personalized license plates that read: DA BUTT.

NEW YORK CITY - Jennifer Lopez is still negotiating her American Idol contract which according to inside sources will most probably make her the highest paid AI judge since Simon "The Count of Cruelty" Cowell.

The 42-year-old Bronx native recently spoke with Hacienda Dakota of Hollywood Vis-a-Vis about her future plans.

J.Lo wanted to point out that she and William Levy, who starred in her recent suggestively seductive music video for her latest song release "I'm Into You," are simply friends and that they did not engage in the bedroom bouncy bounce as one of the supermarket tabloids had written.

Jennifer said that she will certainly be out there strutting her stuff and putting out the 'Welcome Mat,' but she pointed out that she has no plans to do any exclusive mattress frolicking and will instead participate in playing the field.

When Dakota asked her who some of her possible players would be J.Lo blushed like a young school girl who had just gotten asked out on a date by the high school quarterback.

She said that since being named The World's Most Beautiful Woman by People Magazine that the honor has gone a little bit to her head.

J.Lo giggled and said that there are several individuals who she would not mind having get beyond second base. Four that she mentioned right off the top of her head were George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds, and Bradley Cooper.

She immediately scratched off Clooney since as she put it he is tied up putting the wrestling moves on former professional wrestler Stacy Keibler.

Lopez grinned and said that although she does find Pitt to be quite attractive she would never steal another woman's husband like Angelina "Hip Lips" Jolie did when she disgustingly stole Brad from Jennifer "America's Sweetheart" Aniston.

So that left Reynolds and Cooper. J.Lo winked as she suggested that
Ryan and Bradley can give her a call whenever they feel like getting a much better and closer look at the Lopez 'goods.'

Jennifer did state that contrary to what he thinks, she has no desire at all to go out with her fellow American Idol Judge Steven "Lips" Tyler.

J.Lo giggled and quipped that she just never has liked the idea of dating a man who wears more makeup, feathers, boas, and scarfs than she does.

In a related story. J.Lo's soon-to-be-ex-husband Marc Anthony is steadfastly denying the fact that he went out with Kathy Griffin and they engaged in a playful bedroom session of 'Hide the wandering weasel.'

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 1?

9 3 23 2

Go to top