Written by Ben Macnair
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Topics: Scooby Doo

Saturday, 13 August 2011

image for Scooby Doo out of Business
Boo.............see, I still scare people.

Scooby Doo and his friend Shaggy are now out of work, following the disbanding of their team.

Hunky Fred, sexy Daphne and dowdy Thelma are also looking for work, whilst irritating puppy Scrappy Doo has work lined up in Pantomime. The team were known for their mystery solving exploits in the 1980's, which always involved Mr Jones, the light house keeper, and the use of the phrase 'And I would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those meddling kids'.

Fred, a trained Shakespearean actor, and Daphne, known before Scooby Doo for a number of low budget B movies where she was often in a state of undress, and screaming are both looking for work in legitimate theatre. Scooby Doo is now so old, and is of such a nervous disposition, he has been largely housebound for the past ten years, whilst Shaggy, who still wears the same green T shirt and never grew a full beard is a popular draw on the Comic Book Convention scene.

Thelma has now trained as a counsellor, and is seeing many people who remember her dowdy youth from the television programme. She also appeared as Andrea in the original series of Beverly Hills 90210.

Fred, speaking to us after yet another disastrous audition told us: 'I blame the X Files. Once people realised you only need two people, and a couple of strong torches, it was all over. We had to keep justifying the use of Thelma. I mean, Shaggy and Scooby Doo were there for the comedy, but Thelma was just there. That meant that we could not pay for good writers, so we always relied on the same story-line, involving a fair ground, or a lighthouse, or a Haunted House, and a kindly man who was just after the money. Then Scooby had to have his snacks, Shaggy really was that stoned, Scrappy Doo was always getting himself into trouble, and don't even start me on those eight food sandwiches that they always insisted on making'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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