Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 5 August 2011

image for P Diddy Seen Salivating Salaciously Over Jennifer Lopez
Ryan Seacrest said that J.Lo has the smoothest legs in America.

MANHATTAN - People Magazine named her The World's Most Beautiful Woman and pretty soon Jennifer Lopez, aka J.Lo will also be known as The World's Most Eligible Woman.

Lopez spoke with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight and told him that after seven years of being told to say this and say that and do this and do that, that she finally grew some and is now her own woman.

She said that she will never again let any man control her like Marc Anthony did. She smiled as she said that now not even strong willed men like Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or Antonio Banderas would be able to control her like Marc "The Shark" Anthony did.

J.Lo said that the next man she marries is going to wait on her hand and foot, feed her grapes in bed, and paint her toenails.

Pico de Gallo's eyes lit up and with a great big grin on his face asked, "Ah...will that be purple or green seedless grapes mi amor?"

Jennifer started laughing and told him that she will certainly let him know if she decides to take on the role of a cougar.

De Gallo inquired about the rumor that she had been seen with ex-boyfriend P Diddy at a local restaurant and it appeared that P Diddy was salivating salaciously as they talked intimately.

J.Lo blushed and shyly shook her head motioning in the affirmative. She then confessed that when her and P Diddy were together that she loved the fact that he was always very attentive to her. She also added that he is fluent in so many languages.

Jennifer proudly boasted that he can speak Spanish, French, Japanese, Luxembourgian, Liechtensteiner, Mandarin Chinese, Mescalero Apache, and Alaskan.

August 8 is National Admit You're Happy Day except in Arizona where Governor Jan Brewer has outlawed happiness.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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