Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 18 July 2011

image for LeAnn Rimes Answers A Pregnant Question
LeAnn Rimes usually has one Saltine Cracker for dinner. (Photo courtesy of Eddie Cibrian).

NASHVILLE - LeAnn Rimes and her husband, Eddie Cibrian recently visited a guitar repair shop in Nashville.

While at the store she and Eddie had a nice chat with the store's owner, Kinkaid "Bubba" Pluckershank who it turned out had attended high school with LeAnn.

Bubba remarked at how thin Rimes had gotten except for a little tiny bulge which was noticeable in her midsection. He grinned and asked her if that glow on her face was due to her being with child.

LeAnn, 28, blushed turning as pink as a Cincinnati carnation and remarked that actually the glow was from a new brand of makeup she has just purchased.

She then told Bubba that she is actually down to 63 pounds and explained the little belly bulge as actually being a marshmallow that she had accidentally swallowed an hour ago.

Bubba asked her what kind of a diet she was on because he wanted to see about getting his hefty wife, Savannah Jo who is tipping the scales at a robust 287 pounds on the same diet.

Rimes was only too glad to oblige him. She pointed out that for breakfast she has a 4 ounce bowl of 2% fat-free milk with 5 Cheerios.

For lunch she eats one-fifth of a banana. And for dinner she will have a Saltine Cracker and every third day she will change it up a bit and substitute the Saltine Cracker with three sunflower seeds.

Bubba thanked the heck out of her for that wonderful information. He then remarked how thrilled he was at how great her music career had gone and told her that he is such a big fan that he had named his pet hound dog "Swingin" after one of her big hits.

LeAnn smiled and told him that it was sure nice of him to have done that. Bubba grinned and said that Savannah Jo wanted to name the dog "Bitch" but he flat out put his foot down and told her that there was no way that he was going to name his dog after that fake blonde hotel owning girl Parasite Hilton.

Rimes asked if Savannah Jo was also a big fan of hers and he replied, "Oh hell yes, I swear she probably plays your "Swingin" follow up song, "Swingin With Some Other Woman's Hubby" at least half a dozen times a day if not more."

And with that LeAnn turned to Eddie and in a loud voice said that they needed to leave right away before she got arrested for slapping the hell out of a guitar repair shop owner.

In other news. July 20 is Ugly Truck Day except in Beverly Hills, California where everyone knows there are no ugly trucks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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