Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 16 July 2011

image for Rihanna Shaken In Happy Slapping Incident At Sandwich British Open Golf Championship
Rihanna Seems To Like The Rain - Hides The Tears Apparently

US R&B icon, Rihanna of the red head, (No hair, just a red head - That's enough of that - Ed) was left shaken during a visit to Sandwich on a flying visit to take in a rather soggy British Open Golf Championship.

Rihanna, who sang a song about an umbrella, appears to have a thing about rainy sporting events, having been filmed also at the rainy Canadian Grand Prix, hugging Lewis Hamilton.

Before sheltering under an umbrella.

Indeed, it was as the star arrived at Sandwich, and a minder was opening an umbrella, that a happy slapper struck. A mystery blonde woman appeared out of nowhere and slapped Rihanna across the face.

Familiar territory for the glamorous songstress, with her being well acquainted with famous happy slapper Chris Brown.

Witnesses to the unprovoked attack stated that Rihanna was shaken by the shocking incident, but that she didn't cry. It is thought that she turned up at Sandwich in order to meet Northern Irish golf sensation, Rory McIlroy, as opposed to having a Sandwich.

Apparently there are no sandwich shops in Sandwich, which is just as well, because happy slapped Rihanna didn't intend having a sandwich anyway. The Sandwich was actually invented by John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich (1718-1792) who spent three days in 1734 puzzling over what to do with two slices of bread and a slice of spam, before inventing the sandwich.

Rihanna is reported to be taking the happy slapping incident calmly in her stride, but has promised to be more careful in future when mystery blondes suddenly appear out of nowhere.

Detective Inspector Stanley Holloway, of the police said that they would be investigating the happy slapping incident as soon as they've finished their tea.

At this point, it hasn't been ascertained whether there may be a connection between the happy slapping mystery blonde, and the other mystery blonde.

Rory McIlroy is currently four over par.

More as we get it.

Editor's note: This publication does not support happy slapping, or any other form of physical violence directed at another human being. Even if they deserve it. This publication does wholeheartedly support sandwiches, especially bacon ones with a bit of brown sauce.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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