Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 3 July 2011

image for Taylor Swift Tells Kanye West To Stop Being A Pest and Asking Her To Record A Duet With Her Because It Ain't Never Gonna Happen
The guitar that Taylor used when she wrote the song "I Hate Your Lying Lips Jake Gyllenhaal."

NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift was in the recording studio working on some songs for her next CD entitled Love Songs I Wrote About Some Mean Guys I Have Dated and Stuff, when she was asked about the Kanye West microphone grabbing incident at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards Show.

Swift smiled graciously and said that as far as she is concerned all of that fa shizzle ma nizzle bullcorn is nothing but history. She said that West the Pest called and apologized to her for making a total and complete a*s of himself and blamed it all on the fact that he'd had a little bit too much wine before the show.

Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine's Buck Yazoo spoke with Taylor as she took a little break from her recording session. He asked her about some rumors that apparently started down in either Atlanta, Georgia, or Chicago, Illinois.

Taylor asked him if he was referring to the rumor about her wanting to date Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver's good looking son Patrick Schwarzenegger. He replied no.

She then asked him if he was referring to the rumor about her saying that she has a super big time crush on American Idol's Ryan Seacrest. Yazoo again replied no.

Taylor threw her arms in the air and asked him to tell him which darn rumor he was talking about then.

Yazoo explained that he was talking about the rumor that Kanye West wanted to record a hip hop duet with her on his next CD which he plans on recording in September.

Swift replied that the Pest has been after her to sing a duet on one of two songs which he wrote for the CD for the past nine months.

The first song is "Tell Da Bitches Ta Back Off Cause Der Be's Only One Of Me" and the other song is "Rappin' To Da Rap Song That Be Playing So Pretty In My Woman's Dedicated, Devoted Heart of Hearts."

Yazoo said that was the rumor he was talking about. Taylor grinned as she took a sip of her Diet 7-Up and told him that she wants for him to print it in his magazine that Taylor Swift would not record a duet with Kanye West if Pope Benedict XVI, Billy Graham, Oprah Winfrey, Donald Trump, Rascal Flatts, or even Loretta Lynn all asked her while on bended knees.

SIDENOTE. Taylor Swift says that her designer perfume which was to have come out in early August has now been moved back to late September due to the fact that she just did not like the name and will be changing it from Taylor Swift's That Out Yonder Smell to something else.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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