Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 29 June 2011

image for America's Got Talent's Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr. To Be The Next Frank Sinatra
The wall of the car wash in Logan, West Virginia where Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., works.

HOLLYWOOD - Nick "The Candlestick" Cannon could not believe what he had just heard and neither could any of the America's Got Talent studio audience or the three judges.

Howie Mandel, Sharon Osbourne, and Piers Morgan had all just heard Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr., a 36-year-old automobile washer from Logan, West Virginia belt out "I've Got You Under My Skin" a Frank Sinatra tune that caused everyone's jaws to drop.

Landau, with long dreadlocks and a smile that could light up the darkest night knocked everyone's socks off when he started singing. Even Piers Morgan who can be a very hard cookie to please was utterly shocked.

Howie said that he had never, ever heard a white guy sing exactly like Frank Sinatra, much less a black guy. Sharon wondered if he was lip syncing.

Landau replied that he hates lip syncers and added that he does not like Britney Spears, Ashlee Simpson, and Kanye West for that very reason.

He grinned and said that there is no talent to lip syncing and that even bitches like Naomi Campbell, Ann Coulter, or Madonna could lip sync.

Piers chimed in by saying that he could say that again and as Landau started to Sharon jumped in and told him that it was just a figure of speech.

Osbourne, who is the wife of the Ozzy Osbourne aka The Prince of Darkness asked Landau where he learned to sing like that. He smiled and said that he picked it up by listening to Dean Martin records.

"What?" Sharon hollered out.

Landau laughed and told her that he was just pulling her leg.

Morgan jumped in adding that Sharon would love to have her leg pulled since she probably hadn't had any action since the early 90s.

Sharon turned to Morgan and she hit him with a clipboard and yelled out that he really needs to see about returning to England.

She then informed him that if he doesn't he may soon find himself wearing a pair of cement shoes and swimming at the bottom of New York City's East River courtesy of her very good friend Salvatore Goombalini, head of Brooklyn's infamous Goombalini crime family.

Landau told Morgan that he has heard of Sal Goombalini and he knows for a fact that he is one of Frank Sinatra's biggest fans.

In other news. Sarah Palin wants to dispel the rumor that her nine-year-old daughter Piper Palin was driving her Nationwide Bus Tour bus while they were driving through Ohio. Palin remarked that Piper does not even have a drivers license.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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