Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Lindsay Lohan

Thursday, 23 June 2011

image for Lindsay Lohan Under "Home Confinement" Tests Positive For Alcohol - Well Duhhh!
Lindsay Lohan should be sitting in the Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women in Los Angeles.

VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan who without a doubt has to be the luckiest girl in California, no make that America, no heck make that in the entire world has shown her true colors and mocked the California legal system once again.

The quasi-actress who has been under "House Arrest" (what a joke) was administered an alcohol test and somehow, "LiLo" failed it.

Surely the spoiled little diva will say it was a mistake, and that the person who administered the test was probably drunk or under the influence of crack, heroin, cocaine, trans fats, or maybe all four.

Perhaps "Lucky" Lohan will say that the false reading was caused by the Santa Ana Winds, or maybe she can blame it on El Nino or La Nina or La Abuelita.

Well as one of her closest friends Paris Hilton says, "What-EV-er."

One has to wonder when the state of California justice system is going to stop letting this little freckled faced, semi-starlet dictate to them what kind of punishment the spoiled brat is going to receive.

Can you imagine the thousands and thousands of men and women who did exactly what Lohan has done but who are sitting in cold, dark, damp prison cells throughout the United States?

Surely they must be thinking, hey how come I wasn't allowed to be placed in "Home Confinement?" How come I was not given the option of placing myself under "House Arrest?"

It boggles the mind at how one individual can get so much preferential treatment. Yes, when it comes to evading getting punished for breaking the law over and over and over again...Lindsay Lohan is without a doubt Super Woman!

My goodness does she have intimate photographs of all of these legal system individuals who keep letting her get away with things that everyone else has to go to prison for?

It is a good thing that Miss Lindsay Lohan does not live in Texas, because Governor Rick "The Stick" Perry would probably have already sentenced the spaced out, self-centered prima donna to sit on "Old Sparky's" lap.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: "Old Sparky" is the name of the state's infamous electric chair, which Governor Perry does not hesitate to use. Actually Texas switched from the electric chair to lethal injections in 1982, but knowing Governor Perry, I am sure he would gladly take "Old Sparky" out of storage to show he will not coddle anyone, regardless of how famous that person may think she or he is.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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