Pavarotti to Undergo Liposuction for Online Charity Auction

Auckland, New Zealand- Famed Italian opera star Luciano Pavarotti has shocked critics and fans alike yet again by announcing that he will undergo liposuction in his hometown of Modena, Italy next month. Even more surprising is that Pavarotti, known around the world for his charitable donations and organizations, will donate the excess fat from the operation to EBAY. The famous online auction site will then sell the fat in six different auctions.
This announcement came at a press conference in Auckland, New Zealand earlier this week, where he sang to a sold-out crowd as one of the stops on what is being billed as his "Farewell Tour."
"Seeing as how my singing career is winding down, I feel that it is important for me to stay active with charities and help out anyway I can," the maestro said. "Over the years I have sung thousands of concerts for charity and raised millions. I wish to help out in anyway possible."
While very few doubt his intentions, there are some skeptics out there who question this attempt at benevolence.
Franz Schalke, a spokesperson for WARCHILD, one of Pavarotti's favorite charities, feels that the opera star may be crossing the line with this.
"Don't get me wrong, we are eternally grateful for Maestro Pavarotti's generosity, but we are concerned. This is not the first dubious attempt at charity he has made. In 2000 he wrote a 1300 page book of his very favorite recipes and insisted that we publish it and have all of the proceeds go to our organization. The book stayed on the shelves for months and was nearly as disastrous as his 1982 Hollywood film 'Yes Giorgio.'"
Pavarotti, widely considered to be the most famous opera star of all time and known for his larger than life personality and physique, turned seventy last month.
There is no word yet as to an exact date and location of the surgery. A spokesperson for EBAY said that the starting bids for the auction will be "somewhere between $650-$800" and that they are hoping to get "as much as $20,000 for one jar of the fat." In a generous gesture of their own, EBAY has agreed to waive the insertion fees for the auctions.