Written by Gail Farrelly
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Thursday, 16 June 2011

image for Spider-Man Scandal:  He Bought Himself Good Reviews!
Oh what a tangled web he weaves!

The new reviews of "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark," which finally had its official opening night on Broadway, are in. They are quite good, at least better than the reviews of the preview performances.

They SHOULD be good, as they've been bought and paid for by the star himself!

When the reviews of the preview performances were pretty bad, Spidey knew he was in a web of trouble. He wasn't confident that the changes instituted in the musical (a revised story, some new music, etc.) would increase the quality of the reviews. Reviewers needed, he figured, some encouragement to see these changes in a positive light.

That was when Spider-Man headed to Tiffany's and ordered hundreds of solid gold pins, bookmarks, and other trinkets -- all shaped like spider webs. In case these weren't enough to sway the opinion of reviewers, he took other steps. Spidey was seen around town taking reviewers to the most expensive restaurants and also climbing various skyscrapers with reviewers in tow, giving them unique views of the city.

Spider-Man is a beloved figure in New York. Not a chance that any everyday resident of the city would snitch on him. And although rumor has it that the Green Goblin has been collecting evidence against his rival, he won't be using it. The villain's too happy with his role in the Spider-Man show and wouldn't dream of tampering with it. He does, however, taunt Spidey from time to time with the words of Sir Walter Scott:

"Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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