Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Wayne Rooney

Monday, 13 June 2011

image for Rooney retires from soccer, he's a pop-star now!
Wayne has hung up his boots, he's a pop-star now, you have been warned!

In a shock development Wayne Rooney, England & Man Utd star has E Mailed Sir Alex Ferguson and Capello that he is retiring from soccer? He has hung up his boots and the only thing that he wants to become is a pop-singer.

After his recent hair transplant Wayne, whilst looking in the mirror, felt he could be very attractive to ageing female Robbie Williams fans and it's a well known fact he loves ageing women?

He is sick to death of the footie scandal world and Wayne now believes he has the looks, personality and voice to become an international top-pop singer.

During his well earned holidays on Barbados Wayne was filmed practising on the piano in a karaoke bar singing a superb rendition of the Beatles classic "Yesterday", he was slightly pissed at the time and it was awful.

Wayne is a multi-talented Scouser and is convinced that he can sell out the Wembley Arena with no problem. He needs a bit of help from that other ageing Scouser, ex-Beatle Paul McCartney and they are going to do a complete oldies evening singing Beatle classics.

Sir Alex was shocked at the news, but wished Wayne all the best in his new career and bought the first tickets.

Another United player, who loves a scandal or two, Ryan Giggs, will be doing a duet with Wayne and Sir Paul has written a brand new version of the Beatles classic "Can't buy me love" it is now called "Can buy me love" (Wayne and Giggsy proved that!).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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