Written by nellabella
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Thursday, 9 June 2011

Big surprise this season when Susan Boyle and Jackie Evancho were suppose to sing a duet on Americas Got Talent. Susan Boyle's stand in, Flat Susan, had to take her place.

Susan Boyle, a 50 year old beast of a woman, who had never been shagged, won second place on Britain's Got Talent years ago. Jackie Evancho just turned 11 years old. Jackie is adorable and is cute as a button. She is a blonde, blue eyed princess, who has the voice of an angel. The wee one won second place for her remarkable singing performance on Americas Got Talent in 2010.

It was planned as surprise to have Susan Boyle and Jackie Evancho sing a duet on Americas Got Talent, but Susan Boyle got the worst case of the gout at the last minute, her manager told us. "We always have Flat Susan with us when a situation like this comes up, which is all the time. Unfortunately, Flat Susan had to run off and get married, the cow", he remarked, trying to stay calm.

Flat Susan had to be pried off her hubby (after all they are newlyweds) to take Susan's place in order to prevent fans from rioting and destroying the stage. Simon Cowell flew Flat Susan to LA on his very own personal private jet, which is the size of Air Force One.

Jackie Evancho and Flat Susan did a marvelous job. They even received a 15 minute standing ovation. When we asked members of the audience what they thought of the performance, one gentleman said, "It looked to me like Susan was lip synching."

A woman piped up and said, "Jackie did most of the singing. Susan just stood there like a piece of cardboard."

I wasn't able to interview Flat Susan because she was quickly whisked away to be reattached to her hubby.

I was, however, able to have a brief chat with Jackie even though she was surrounded by a huge crowd. "How do you feel Jackie?" "I feel so amazing. The performance was so amazing. The audience was so amazing. The weather is so amazing. I'm sooooooooooooo amazing."

The so amazing Jackie Evancho folks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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