Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 8 June 2011

image for Katie Price Not Back In The Headlines - Not Even In The Daily Star!
It's All About Ryan Giggs These Days

Fans of Katie Price, the publicity hungry, pneumatic former page 3 model and reality TV star, have been expressing grave concerns recently, because their heroine hasn't been hitting the headlines recently, despite her best efforts.

Many fans thought that Katie had cracked it, when she announced that she had found true love at last, with Brazilian Beau, Leandro, but the press releases rapidly sank into oblivion, leaving Katie, and her fans wondering what she'd come up with next.

A pink Range Rover and a ridiculously ill fitting white dress, which she wore in public in Leeds, for some inexplicable reason, also spectacularly failed to make an impact on the front pages.

Observers have blamed the Japanese tsunami, the civil war in Libya, the tornadoes in the United States, Barcelona's Champions League triumph, and Ryan Giggs' super injunction related sexual indiscretions for the ousting of the woman known to her close associates as 'Katie Of Orange.'

These are desperate times for the Katie Price publicity machine, which becomes patently obvious when even the Daily Star can't seem to be arsed with her any more.

"It's looking pretty grim at the moment, publicity wise," Katie's Deranged Fan Club spokesman, Edward Tweezerhands lamented. "You know things are getting desperate when even the Daily Star don't want to know any more. Mind you, we can at least take some consolation from the fact that it seems to be even harder for Alex Reid to make an impact. He's running around town like a dog with two dicks at the moment, and he can't get a look in. Nary a sniff! Ha! Bastard!"

Speculation is running rife at the moment that Katie is planning a massive publicity coup, although reports that she will appear with her kids and her new BFF in a nude calendar layout, as posited in the American press recently, have pretty much been discounted.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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