Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 2 June 2011

image for Cheryl Cole And Imogen Thomas Found In Icelandic Volcano - Eating Cucumber With Sepp Blatter
Imblofyer When It Was Still Alive.

According to the gossip columns, the trio were found sitting in the crater of extinct Icelandic volcano, Imblofyer, eating cucumber and talking about ticket allocations for the 2012 Olympic Games, by part time explorer, Sir Kenneth Tarby-Dodds.

Tarby-Dodds described to a gossip columnist how, as he was ascending the North-West face of the extinct ash factory, he became bemused as he thought he had heard the sound of raucous laughter emanating from the crater.

Initially, it appears that Tarby-Dodds failed to recognise the three laughing celebrities, despite the FIFA pirate ship at anchor in a cove below, the Black Eyed Peas rehearsing on a lower slope, (With a dancing chap.) and a group of Premier League footballers playing keepy-uppy on the rim of the crater.

"They all looked a bit familiar," he admitted. "But I wasn't really sure who they were, or why they were sitting in the crater of an extinct volcano, eating cucumbers and laughing."

It wasn't until Sepp Blatter began to berate the intrepid explorer, for being an interfering English busybody who should clear off and mind his own business, that the proverbial penny dropped.

"I was a bit confused as to how Sepp Blatter got there so quickly on a pirate ship from Switzerland," he said. "But it was definitely him."

Tarby-Dodds recognised the two women, when Cole started swearing at him in Geordie, and Thomas (who was wearing a Barcelona shirt) started speaking in tongues. Which he later discovered to be Welsh.

"They started throwing cucumbers at me," he said. "I don't know why. I was only going to offer them some of my rations to go with the cucumbers. They had a big pile of them. I took a direct hit right on my binoculars case, and I could feel cucumbers whizzing past my pith helmet. I retreated back down the mountain pretty sharpish, I can tell you. Luckily they didn't come after me."

It still isn't crystal clear what the trio were doing in the crater of an extinct volcano eating cucumbers. Or even if they were ever really there at all, because perhaps Tarby-Dodds was high on drugs. Or something.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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