Written by P.M. Wortham
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Wednesday, 25 May 2011

image for Kim Kardashian Chooses Childhood TV Idol to be Father of the Bride
Barney, without the furry purple costume

Giving Bruce Jenner one final snub, Kim Kardashian has asked Barney the Dinosaur to act as the father of the bride and give her away at her upcoming wedding to NBA pro, Kris Humphries.

Mother Kris didn't appear to object to Kim's request, mostly because it follows the pattern of dumping on the former Olympian step father. Kris, Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kendall, Kylie, and their dogs, Kato, Kabuki and Kahuna all reportedly barked in agreement to give Jenner the boot in favor of the beloved purple children's character. Jenner was reportedly asked to participate as an usher, but to take a seat in the rear of the church for the remainder of the ceremony.

Details surrounding the upcoming televised event are sketchy at best, but insiders report that Barney's famous purple fur will in fact be one inspiration for accent colors on the bridesmaid dresses. Barney is also expected to lead the daddy-daughter dance at the reception while singing his famous "I love you, you love me" song.

Jenner will reportedly take the important role of replenishing the champagne at each table, and making sure that facial tissue and hand towels are properly stocked in the reception rest rooms.

There was no confirmation that Baby Bop would be Barney's Plus One.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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