Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 23 May 2011

image for The Amazing Award That Britney Spears Won At The 2011 Billboard Music Awards Show
Britney Spears performing with a microphone is sort of like a pregnant woman carrying around birth control pills.

LAS VEGAS - The music in the MGM Grand Garden Arena for The 2011 Billboard Music Awards Show was loud, the costumes were loud, the crowd was loud, but Britney Spears microphone was as quiet as a yellow #2 pencil sitting on an Iowa school teacher's desk.

Britney sang a song with Rihanna and although the bright red haired Caribbean beauty was actually singing the dishwater blonde was not.

Spears opted to once again go the lip syncing route as she seems to do most of the time she performs. One has to wonder if maybe its because she can't remember the words, ala Christina Aguilera's Super Bowl National Anthem debacle or what?

The sad part is that the lyrics and BS's mouth are not even synchronized. Watching La Spears is kind of like watching the old Godzilla moves that always included 15,000 Japanese extras who were yelling, hollering, and screaming; and all out of sync.

Godzilla movie goers would hear the Japanese actors speak and then a second later their mouths would move.

Britney then got another chance to sing, I mean lip sync, when she performed a duet with Nina Minaj. Wow! Nina Minaj, that woman has got to have the biggest butt in the history of civilized man (and woman).

Minaj's derriere which she calls Mt. Kilimanjaro makes the gigantic cabooses of the Kardashian sisters, Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney look like little friggin peaches.

Minaj's badonkadonk is so huge that it is actually outlawed in seven states because she could very easily use it to conceal weapons such as an AK-47 or even a grenade launcher.

And people used to make crack jokes about Oprah "Caller You Say What" Winfrey?

Nina's rump is so humongous if you put roses on the son-of-a-gun you could enter it in The New Years Day Tournament of Roses Parade.

But getting back to Miss Lip Syncer, Britney "BS" Spears. She was finally given some kind of credit for doing what she does best.

Justin Bieber who won six Billboard Awards including one for having the most hair of any performer male or female presented Britney with Billboard's Lifetime Achievement Award For Lip Syncing.

And gosh darnit if when she went up to accept the award, the chubby little gal didn't go and lip sync her acceptance speech as well.

Eminem, who also won six awards including one for White Dude Who Sings Hip Hop and Rap Music Kinda Sorta Like The Black Bros, said that Britney Spears has gotten so carried away with her lip syncing that she even lip syncs when she laughs.

Cowbell Notes Music Magazine has just named the book that was co-written by Britney Spears and Ashlee Simpson titled, "Learning How To Lip Sync From Two of The Best Lip Syncing Lip Syncers in The Business" as The Best Book On Lip Syncing Ever Written.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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