Written by IainB
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Friday, 13 May 2011

image for Dead or Alive to re-release You Spin Me Round
You Spin Me Right Round - GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Dead or Alive, the popular beat combo from the 1980s released several songs, but the only song people remember is You Spin me Right Round Like a Record Baby.

Having recently fallen on hard times (Pete Burns spent all of the band's profits on cosmetic surgery), the band have decided that they will release a new single. However, the band cannot get their most famous song out of their heads.

"Every time we started laying down some tunes or writing lyrics," said Pete Burns, the gender bending singer song-writer, "it always turns into You Spin Me Round. We've started writing several, but each one's been a failure."

Burns says that they wrote Been Right Down, My Key-Card Saved Me and You's Pin em tight and bound (like a car wreck baby).

"Unfortunately we realised the tune for both was our big hit," said Burns. "Why can't anybody remember In Too Deep or I'd do Anything? Even us."

So the band have decided just to release You Spin me Right Round again. This too has run into problems.

"Nobody knows what a record is any more," bewailed Burns. "And You Spin Me Right Round Like an MP3 baby doesn't scan or sound right."

So the band are looking for things that would be spun right round, like a record, to replace record in the song.

"We've had Like a Roundabout Baby, Like a Football Rattle Baby, Like a Washing Machine on Spin Cycle Baby," said Burns, a small tear drawn carefully under his eye. "Nothing is working."

A random pop following child stopped on the street, called Harry Windsor, thinks that Burns is overthinking the problem.

"Kids know what is vinyl is dude," said the red-headed random royal, flicking his fingers. "They're the bling, init. DJs spin those nasty tunes in the clubs, man. All kids know the records."

Now the only problem the band have to overcome is that so many people mistake Peter Burns for Lady Gaga.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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