Tarzana, California - Computer geek Mario Brothers has revealed a startling age progressed photo of troll-like Kourtney Kardashian, the shortest, oldest and bitchiest of the Kardashian sisters.
Mario says, "I just thought it would be interesting to see how fackin ugly she'd be at 50, and wow, it's worse than I thought. Truly horrifying!"
Using a high-tech computer software program developed by forensic science to find missing children, Mario was excited about using it to view the true face of Kourtney's aging future.
"According to the software, at 50 years old, Kourtney Kardashian will look like a cross between a monkey and a hairy little garden gnome. "
Now in her 30's, she applies heavy layers of theatrical make up with a special nozzle that sprays lifelike cosmetic plaster onto her tiny mean face. This dries to a hard, concrete firmness for three days before she can safely appear on camera or go outside during daylight hours.
A "friend" remarks, "Kort knows her days as a D-list celeb are numbered, she already looks extremely monkey-like, her simian features are getting worse every day. My apologies to monkeys."
When reporters showed her the shocking age progressed photo of what she will look like when she turns the big 5-0, Kourtney whined , "OMG, like, this is, like, so, like, not right."