Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 7 May 2011

image for Sir Paul McCartney Engaged! - And Once Again On The Long and Winding Road To Throwing Away Millions and Millions More of His Money
Paul says he has lots of money and if his third marriage does not work out he'll just write a song about it.

LONDON - Former Beatles member Paul McCartney has just announced that he is engaged to girlfriend Nancy Shevell.

Chatsworth Wiggonholt of Ta Ta For Now News stated that McCartney is worth in the neighborhood of $800 million [£489,000 U.K.].

Wiggonholt asked the music legend why in the world he is getting married again especially at the age of 68. McCartney replied because She-She as he calls Nancy makes him see the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, and the fjords of Norway.

The reporter for TTFNN mentioned that his second wife Heather "The Dancing Lass" Mills had walked away with over $50 million and that Shevell stands a very good chance of doing the same.

Sir Paul informed Wiggonholt that Miss Shevell, who is 51, had promised him that if they get divorced she will not expect any monetary compensation from him whatsoever.

Shevell, who has a reputation for being a very shrewd businessman, reportedly told one of her high school friends that she has hit the lottery.

She added that the acting lessons that she took ten years ago have certainly come in tremendously handy.

McCartney told Wiggonholt that he knows that Shevell would not do what Mills did to him because she is older and much more mature.

Paul also pointed out proudly that in the three years that he has known Nancy Shevell that she has only lied to him two times.

He smiled and added that he has already written three songs about his future wife. When asked to name them he replied, "Nancy, Nancy, With The Fancy Knickers," "Your Giggles Put A Smile In My Pants," and "I Don't Care What They Say, I Think Your Bingo Wings Are Cute As The Dickens."

Ta Ta For Now News will bring you further developments on the McCartney-Shevell engagement and readers are urged to write Sir Paul at www.sirpaulmccartneysgettinghitched.huh and express to him that he is making a big fooking mistake.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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