Written by Honey West
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Thursday, 5 May 2011

image for Jon Cryer To Teach "Two And A Half Men" Seminar At Harvard
Women's Consortium says, "He Better Behave Himself"

Jon Cryer, the former co-star of " Two And A Half Men" will be teaching a seminar at Harvard University based on the show. The seminar will be part of Harvard's "Examples Of Crap In Media" which is also tied to the very popular "Women's Extreme Sensitivity Week". Mr. Cryer was offered the position by a consortium of radical female students so that "he could atone for his sins of bad entertainment" and "learn to be a good boy."

"I'm thrilled to be teaching a seminar at Harvard, mainly because I get a free room in the dorm and three hot meals."

Still lost in Hollywood limbo and awaiting a decision about the show's fate, Cryer has bills to pay and mouths to feed. Mainly his own.

In return for his room and badly needed nourishing food, for which he is eternally grateful, he has been ordered by university officials to openly berate Charlie Sheen, the show, naughty men, anti-women jokes, blond jokes, poop jokes, bad double entendre, jiggly boob jokes and other material deemed offensive to the sensitive women of Harvard.

A pale. anemic and sickly wan-looking Cryer, which is the same way the former star looked during the hit t.v. series, was shaky and trembling as he toured the venerable campus.

"I've been living on Starbucks and cigs since the show went off the air. Damn that Charlie, damn him. I got all his sloppy seconds, it was a dream gig. Now I have nothing but memories of some very hot shite. Those were some good times. In fact, the best of my life."

The female organizers of the seminar say they are looking forward to seeing this "crappy excuse for a man" being humiliated and degraded in front of them, at their feet. "He better man up, keep his head down, and do as he's told around here."

Mr. Cryer promises he will do whatever the butchy dykey lezzy looking females want.

"I've been out of work for awhile. This is the downside of celebrity that most people never see - I feel so dirty! CBS, please rehire me! I'll be good! I was always the good brother!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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