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Tuesday, 18 October 2005

image for Stallone to Make Sixth Rocky Movie
Stallone says he plans to make ten Rocky films before retiring the character

Sylvester Stallone has announced plans to film a sixth in the series of movies about boxer Rocky Balboa. The first film won the Oscar for Best Picture in 1976 and was the actor's first starring role. Subsequent films in the series were written and directed by Stallone. It has been fifteen years since Rocky has laced on the gloves and the character is now 59 years old.

When we asked him to explain why he is returning to one of his old characters, the actor did not appear level headed in answering our question. "Yo, Adrian" was his reply. After slipping him a geritol milkshake, he seemed to come out of his stupor.

"You know, it's like this. I'm getting a little older and so is John Rambo." We reminded the actor that this film was about Rocky.

"Oh yeah, Rocky. It's really neat when he flies in the air and gets caught by that moose guy."

A publicist with MGM told us that the script is about the fighter after the death of his wife, played by actress Talia Shire in all of the previous films. The character returns to boxing more for something to do than for the idea of winning.

When asked if the actor seemed a little punch drunk to him, assistant director Leonard Swishy replied "No. We just make him a protein drink with a few raw eggs, change his depends, let him slap a piece of roast beef we hung from his ceiling, and he's all ready to go."

We asked him who the character would actually fight in the movie as no real boxers would ever get into the ring with an almost sixty year old man. "We've had to look at fighters with a lot of comebacks, and we've narrowed it down to either Larry Holmes or George Foreman. We considered Mike Tyson, but Sylvester doesn't want to get raped and also has this desire to keep his ears intact."

We also wanted to know if this film would use catchy music, such as the Rocky theme song or Eye of the Tiger (from Rocky 3). "Our star's tastes have changed with the times. He hates Eye of the Tiger now and refers to it as "that damned noise." Stallone is kind of partial to SInatra and Dean Martin these days. We're probably going to have to go with a crooner."

The movie expects an early summer release in 2006.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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