Written by Jalapenoman
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Saturday, 30 April 2011

image for Elton John Upset He Wasn't Biggest Queen At Royal Wedding
A guessing game: Elton or Elizabeth... which Queen is this?

Singer Elton John was upset at the Royal Wedding to see that he wasn't "the biggest Queen" in attendance. He felt that his presence was upstaged by that of Queen Elizabeth II at the marriage of her grandson, Prince William, to Kate Middleton.

After the ceremony, Elton John told reporters that "I didn't know the old biddy was going to be here. I thought that they held this during her nap time on purpose. Even though I'm not a member of the Royal Family, I thought that everyone in England knew that I was the biggest Queen in the British Empire."

When asked how he felt about the wedding otherwise, the pop diva said that "I really enjoyed seeing Pippa's ass, just like everyone else. It was almost enough to make a girl like me go straight."

He also thought that "that dress wasn't quite the right one for Kate. I'd have loaned her one out of my closet if she had just asked to borrow something more appropriate."

Dresses aren't the only thing to come out of this man's closet!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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