Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 30 April 2011

image for Charlie Sheen Says He Wants Pippa Middleton To Replace Rachel Oberlin, The 'Goddess' That Dumped Him
Former Sheen Goddess, Rachel Oberlin says that Charlie carries this photo of a space alien in his wallet.

SHERMAN OAKS - Charlie Sheen, the man of half a dozen nicknames including "Space Cadet" has revealed that he wants Kate Middleton's sister Pippa to replace Rachel "Bree" Oberlin who dumped him earlier this week in the capacity of his co-goddess.

Sheen's remaining goddess Natalie "Natty" Kenly has stated that she will stand (or lie) beside Charlie at his exquisite Mulholland Estates Mansion, Casa Jose Cuervo come hell or high water.

El Charlie is currently touring with his touring show My Violent Winning Torpedo of Truth Vs. The Losing Trolls of Lies Tour.

According to Bedroom Pillow Talk Oberlin decided to leave Sheen's "Team of Followers" because she had gotten to the point where she no longer understood any of the bibble babble that he was uttering.

She said she was fine when "Tiger Blood Boy" was talking about people like Chuck Lorre, Jon Cryer, and Paris Hilton, but she added that she totally lost him once he went into subjects dealing with things such as space exploration using ultra lights, the affects of Velcro on the penguin population of the South Pole, and what exactly the correlation between Lady Gaga's crotch and the rising gasoline prices are.

Gazebo Serengeti of BPT stated that Oberlin has reportedly moved to an undisclosed isolated location located somewhere in either Arizona or Zimbabwe.

Serengeti further went on to say that Sheen had texted him and told him that as he was watching the Royal Wedding on the Weather Channel he saw Kate Middleton's Maid of Honor (her sister Pippa) and he decided right then and there that she would be the perfect candidate to replace Oberlin as his new goddess.

Sheen called up his good friend Larry King to try and get her phone number.

Bedroom Pillow Talk will stay in contact with Carlos Sheen, aka Charlie Estevez, and see what develops.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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