Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 25 April 2011

image for Actor Signed To Play Dick Cheney In New Biopic
He might be hunting wabbits in his newest movie

A new film under production in Hollywood about the life of former United States Vice President Dick Cheney has signed an actor for the leading role. Under contract to star in another Warner Brothers film is screen legend Elmer Fudd. From a press room at the studio, he was very happy to be playing the part.

"They tawked me out of wetirewement to do this. I'm vewy, vewy pwearsed to be pwaying this pawt. It's the wole of a wifetime fow me."

When asked why Elmer Fudd was signed to play the part of Cheney, Director Ron Howard said that "I grew up watching the talents and abilities of this excellent performer. I knew that this part was almost written and that the life of the V.P. was lived with him in mind."

"I mean,… think about it. Both of them are short and bald. Both of them have hair trigger tempers (though that could be a "hare" trigger temper in Elmer's case). Both also like to carry around their guns and are not afraid to shoot them off (or their mouths)."

There is no word yet on who will play George Bush. Hollywood did confirm, however, that current U.S. President Barack Obama may be played by Mickey Mouse for the following reasons:

  • Both are black
  • Both have funny ears
  • Both have ladies whose names start with "Mi" (Michelle and Minnie)
  • No one knows their true religious beliefs
  • Both hang around with people who are Goofy
  • Both have a squeaky voice
  • Both have huge fan bases among the uneducated, unemployed, and illiterate (though Mickey's are children)
  • Both are good actors
  • Both have good friends that are dogs (Pluto and Goofy/Bo and Pelosi)
  • Both have sidekicks with hair trigger tempers (Donald Duck and Joe Biden)
  • Both can credit Hollywood for their success
  • Both have their words written by other people
  • Neither one has a birth certificate
  • Both have their realities existing in a land of make-believe

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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