Written by Inhopeless
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Topics: Music, NOW

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

LONDON - NOW! That's What I Call Music (NTWICM) #48 was released today, however NOW! are planning to release #49 tommorow.

"The times, they are a-changing," said the CEO of Polygram Records, "I think that was Cheryl Cole. Tommorow's sheep--- I mean, youth - are different from those of today. They have totally different tastes."

NOW! which has a long back-catalogue of putting shitty tracks on shitty records and selling them to shitty-headed masses, has invaded record stores across the world, especially in America, where even their shitheaded shitheads are buying it.

NOW! 49 will have the exact same tracks as 48, but has a couple of new ones including Inhopeless's Dude, You Need to Stop Dancing (lyrics here), and some whiny teenage loser's new song too.

We asked a person leaving ASDA's Entertainment section what they thought.

"Uhh..." she said. "What blud? I got me, like, this new CD, yeah? It's got some mega dank traxxxxx yeah? I mig' go an' spend ma dole on the neuuw one tommozaa yeah mate?"

As of press time, this reporter had ended up trashing and burning HMV after he found that several alternative rock bands were being put into the Metal section instead of the Rock section.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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