Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 20 April 2011

image for 'Hard up' Beckham plays softball in two minute Sofia Viagra ad
Hands up all those who got it up last night

Los Angeles - His $5 million fee for a soft drink ad nearly got him a stiff neck from ogling the dusky Colombian beauty's ravine-like cleavage.

The beachside footage premiered to US audiences last night - apparently with heavily pregnant wife Victoria's full blessing.

The ad features Modern Family actress Sofia Viagra - er...Vergara! - wearing an eye-catching tumescent-blue swimsuit and matching floppy hat.

Her huge, soft, tremulous lips hug a straw as she quaffs the icy calorie-free fizz... while Beckham's dilated pupils hone in on her extraordinary toned body.

Rumors that the ad is in fact a 30-second wonder, artifically extended to a full two minutes, have been vigorously denied by the drinks company.

Christina Aguilera is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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