Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 19 April 2011

image for Dancing With The Stars: Pittsburgh Steelers Wide Receiver Hines Ward "Scores" Big With Partner Kym Johnson
Private Len Goodman (second from left) shown in Liverpool, England during World War II.

HOLLYWOOD - There are now only eight dance couples left on Dancing With The Stars after boxing legend Sugar Ray Leonard got "Knocked Out" last week.

This week's best score was attained by the team of Hines Ward and Kym Johnson. The dancing duo received 27 out of a possible 30 points.

British Judge Len "The Old Grouch" Goodman said that Ward and Johnson did a bloody, blooming, right gobsmacking job of dancing they did.

Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli said that he liked the couple and that Hines did such a fantastic job that he would personally dress up as a Pittsburgh Steelers cheerleader and yell out 'rah, rah, rah, sis, boom, bah.'

DWTS Host Tom "Quick On The Draw" Bergeron quickly went to a commercial.

When they returned Carrie Ann, "The Queen of The Philippines" Inaba remarked that she does not know the difference between a touchdown, a home run, or a slam dunk, but she knows that Hines Ward danced and pranced good enough to make it into next week of Dancing With The Stars.

In other DWTS news. Kirstie Alley did not fall down, lose a shoe, or accidentally kick Maksim's crotch.

Ralph "The Karate Kid" Macchio showed that he is definitely a New York City 'Drugstore Cowboy.'

And wrestling champion Chris Jericho's partner Cheryl Burke was embarrassed beyond belief when Len "The Dirty Old Bloke" Goodman remarked that Cheryl's quite visible knockers reminded him of The Rocky Mountains.

Florence Henderson, aka Mrs. Brady of The Brady Bunch TV sit-com who was in the audience, was asked who she thinks will be going home.

She rolled her eyes and said that she thinks it will probably be Kendra "The Playboy Bunny Bitch" Wilkinson.

Len Goodman wanted to clear up the misconception that the Internet photo showing a nude elderly couple lying on the sand at Laguna Beach is not him and Cloris Leachman as the tag on the photo implies.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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